Abstract » LEAVING ME


LEAVING ME




LM1This, I feel, is where a new phase started in my painting.  It happened during a movement session quite close to the end of 2009 at the end of three months of what felt like continuous sickness. 

I had gone to the UK for six weeks in September, an unusual time for me to go as generally I go at the beginning of Summer in June rather than at the end of summer and beginning of Autumn.  My friend John had died at the beginning of July and I found myself very involved in his cremation and then creating a memories book of his time in Auroville for his family.  At the same time the Farm Group (who greatly missed John as he was the Secretary/coordinator) was involved in what turned out to be a very bruising process of land exchange when two farms were lost to the group in a process that was neither transparent or responsive to the concerns of the community.

I had a good time while I was in the UK, seeing my granddaughter for the first time and hearing that she was going get a new sister in the following April.  The day after I arrived in the UK a filling fell out of one of my teeth and I had to go and have it very expensively repaired although the dentist said that it would require more treatment in the future.  Apart from that I felt really well – if a little cold at times – while I was in the UK.

When I came back within three days I was in bed with a very infected foot.  Wearing my Indian sandals had brought out a very small sore on one of the toes on my left foot.  It was so small I thought nothing of it, but it got infected after I had used the grass cutter and got rather bruised on my left shin from the stones that it threw up.  I had to take heavy medication and stay in bed although somehow I managed to struggle back to work after a few days.  I was just starting to get over that when I was assailed by a catalogue of problems starting off with an abscess on the tooth that I had had filled in the UK and then various stomach problems.  All of which needed visits to dentists and doctors for tests, X-rays and treatment.

All this happening at a time when I was starting to take up other work connected with the Farm Group.  This included taking the notes of meetings, joining in several other groups in Auroville.  All of which was very time consuming and not always very satisfying for me personally.

By the end of the year I was feeling much better although my stomach problem still hadn’t been properly sorted out and tended to come back from time to time.

It was during a session while I was meditating that I had the sense of this sickness energy leaving me and dissolving into white light.  This happened quite spontaneously and the picture shows how it appeared to me.  It was the first picture where I started a new technique of layering the paint to get different colours and effects and to take a lot more notice of my technique.

It was at this time I decided that although I have been painting for some years it was time to commit more time and energy to it.  That I would like to show my pictures to a wider circle of people and would set up this website and maybe have a show later in the year.
 
This picture represents the end of one cycle and the start of another.  This is not just about the pictures that I was painting or the work I was doing although both were affected.  It was more about coming to a different kind of integration within myself and perhaps a different relationship both within and with everything in the outside world.

Winter solstice 2009 was for me the beginning of the new year.